Here it is, the end of the world: 2012. If anything, I can now add 2012 the the long list of world events I have managed to survive, including but not limited to Y2K and 10 of Harold Camping’s “end times” predictions. A real survivor indeed. I kid.
Now that my witty welcoming of the new year is over with, let’s get down to other things.
Having my third semester behind me, I can hardly be regarded as “new” to the whole college deal. With 5 semesters to go however, I can’t really be thought of as “experienced” either. In any event, the semester brought about many new things to my life. New friends, new confidence, and a new way of understanding and maybe accepting myself.
This week I really felt the changes that have been subtly moving through my life and I was hit with the astounding (if not clearly obvious) realization that I’ve changed. Wow. I bet you weren’t expecting that one, huh? But I’m serious. Looking back on my high school days via pictures on Facebook, I realized that I have moved in a completely new direction that I never really noticed until recently. The overly sentimental and nostalgic part of me started to get really depressed when it was apparent that I didn’t keep in contact with friends, and it was really hard for me to get past for awhile. Not being a huge fan of change, I started panicking and wondering how long it would take me to do the same when I’m out of college.
Stop. Breathe. Relax.
For my whole life I have been so afraid to move on because I don’t want to forget all the great things that I’ve been blessed with in life, but maybe that’s what has caused me to feel kind of stuck in college, making it hard to appreciate new blessings. Stuck in the sense that making friends is terrifying because it means letting go of my old ones a bit. Stuck in the way that means living a new life in college separate than an old life at home because I can’t possibly let go of the old one, but I’m forced into the new one. Well, I am stuck no more. There has been a strange peace in letting go of something that hasn’t been a burden, but it’s time has come anyways. It feels good to be ready to move forward, and maybe this semester will be the strangest one yet, but its an exciting prospect, don’t you think?
Bringing in 2012 was a bit different for me this year, but I think it was a fitting one. I got to spend it with Taylor and a bunch of his friends from church and it was great! Right after midnight, one of the adults brought up a tradition that was new to me, but it was super cool. He led us all in prayer so that we could start the year off right, with the Lord. Why this never occurred to me before is a mystery, but why wouldn’t that be the best way to start our new year? Maybe its pure exhaustion at the moment, but I feel really good about this next semester and what the rest of the year has to offer, and I feel totally prepared to follow the Lord blindly into it. Is anyone with me? I hope so :).
I’m afraid that at 1:44 am, this is all the insight and half-wisdom I can offer y’all. Before I start to say things I don’t really understand myself (like “y’all”), I will go to bed and inevitably sleep in until the lovely hour of sometime-after-12 o’clock.