I cannot even describe how crazy those two words sound even in my head. Four years ago, senior year felt like a myth right up there between a good night’s sleep and the “Freshman 15”. I can tell you now, those last two are very very real but the jury’s still out on a good night’s sleep. I’ll let you know after I graduate.
Even at the end of junior year it had not dawned on me that this is it, this is my last year at Roberts. I mean, didn’t I just graduate high school? Looking back, these past four years have felt more like four months. Lots of people tell me that college is all about preparing for the “real world” but that also seemed to figure in to my list of myths. This summer has been a wake up call with everyone I know asking me the BIG question:
“So what are you going to do once you graduate?”
The first time I was asked that, my initial (and yet most accurate) response was a mix of the classic deer-in-the-headlights look and the intelligent answer of “I’ll figure it out eventually”. I’ve practiced since then and now I have a flawless response. Seriously, someone should call the Academy because this is my best act yet.
The truth is that I have no idea what will happen after May 10th and really, I’ve been doing my best not to think about it. It is hard to shake the idea that after 16 years of school, I might never have to go back and honestly, that’s pretty scary. I’m constantly worrying about whether or not I’ve been adequately prepared for the “real world”. There are moments when I feel like I am and that I can’t wait to get out on my own but then somehow I realize that the world is a lot bigger and more complicated than I’d realized. Cue intense panic.
I estimate that most of my stress lately revolves around the question “Am I ready?” Sometimes the answer feels like a “yes”. Sometimes I have to go with a big fat NO. Again, I’ll have to let you know in a few months. Something I do know for sure is that I have appreciated all my friends who have already graduated. They were so helpful and honest about the good, the bad, and the ugly about senior year. Going in to this year blind would have been terrifying but the people on this campus don’t let that happen. This brings me to the point of this blog. I want to share the experiences of myself and others who are going through this process (or maybe, already have!). It’s important to know that other people can share in your experiences.
Hopefully my fellow seniors will be able to relate, but to those of you who still have a few years left, I hope you are able to find something helpful in my writing! Until then, enjoy packing your bags and buying your textbooks and I’ll see ya soon!
Yours truly for 177 more days (but hey, who’s counting?!),